July 26, 2009

-by Derek Webb

people love you the most for the things you hate
and hate you for loving the things that you can’t keep straight
people judge you on a curve
and tell you you’re getting what you deserve
this too shall be made right

children cannot learn when children cannot eat
stack them like lumber when children cannot sleep
children dream of wishing wells
whose waters quench all the fires of hell
this too shall be made right

the earth and the sky and the sea are all holding their breath
wars and abuses have nature groaning with death
we say we’re just trying to stay alive
but it looks so much more like a way to die
this too shall be made right

there’s a time for peace and there is a time for war
a time to forgive and a time to settle the score
a time for babies to lose their lives
a time for hunger and genocide
this too shall be made right

I don’t know the suffering of people outside my front door
i join the oppressors of those who i choose to ignore
i’m trading comfort for human life
and that’s not just murder it’s suicide
this too shall be made right

It’s About That Time July 24, 2009

Well, I officially suck at blogging, but I guess that will not come as a surprise to any of my professors. Consistency isn’t my thing. Today has been a rainy day, and I must admit my strong desire to do nothing all day. Rainy days just turn me into an observer of the day and completely take away any desire to participate at all, but I shall resist the urge to sit and watch.

Much has happened since I last posted. I went to camp for a week.

The camp

One of the films that I am making is for an organization called “Camp in a Box.” Basically the idea is that they can set up camp anywhere. They store everything they need in a huge container and take it all out during the summer. It’s actually a tent camp. Everything is in a tent: sleeping quarters, the dining room and meeting place, the kitchen, even a laundry room! They build their showers and bathrooms right there on site. It’s pretty incredible.

Anyways, so I went out the day before the camp started and helped finish setting up. The rest of the week I focused on filming but also got to help out wherever I was needed; washing dishes, cleaning tables, putting up tents, cleaning bathrooms, assembling showers, taking care of kids, doing skits, teaching a lesson. It was such a good week. It was great to get to know Steve and Natalija Janz a little bit. They are the directors of Camp in a Box, and we had a lot of fun together.

I met lots of fun people at Camp in a Box. There was one group of

playing at the beach

girls that I hung out with a lot. They were precious and I got to know their leader, Ilze, quite well. One of the days at the camp we all walked 10 Kilometers to the sea.. so we had about 2 hours to talk and get to know each other. It actually started raining really hard so we had to leave. As we were waiting for our rides we hid out in this really cool old church in the middle of a grave yard! Fun stuff.

The camp was actually really well represented as far as cultures go. I

The Brit, the Canadian, and the American

was there from the States, Steve and a lady named Marie were there from Canada, we had a British guy named Dave, there were several Russians there, including Steve’s wife, Natalija, and then most of the kids were Latvian. I went to visit the next camp a couple days later and there were also 2 ladies there from Holland and a guy from Germany! It was quite exciting!

After the camp Marie and I spent a couple day at the Janz house just

Me and Simon!

helping out. We watched the kids, cleaned up whenever it was needed, picked and pitted a lot of cherries, and weeded the garden.

Steve and Sammie

Danielle Rebman recently came to visit for a few days and we had a great time. Mostly I just showed her what I’ve been doing and introduced her to people that I’ve been meeting while I’ve been here. We went to visit Camp in a Box and went to the sea twice. I finally swam in the Baltic Sea! It was sooo cold. 16 C! That’s like 60 F! If you are confused, that’s cold! But it was a lot of fun. We also spent a day at Hope for Children, where I was able to teach an art lesson! That was pretty exciting!

Getting ready to paint!

Wednesday night was Vesma’s birthday party. So we went and met a

serving the guests

lot of new people, ate really good food, drank a little wine, and played some fun games. It was great to be able to celebrate this wonderful lady!

Danielle left yesterday morning and then I spent the day at the Hope for Children center in Bolderaja. The two ladies that normally run the place were both gone so Helen Grimshaw, a wonderful British lady, and I watched the kids.

Natasha left to go back to school on Monday. She’ll be gone for a month so we already had to say our goodbyes. It’s hard to believe that my time here is coming to an end. I have a week left in Latvia.. I leave on the morning of the 31st and then 6 days in Venice… and then I’ll be on a plan home. I’ve been, of course, been experiencing mixed emotions. I’m excited about going home and seeing family and friends, but I am also just getting settled here and I am a bit sad to see my time come to an end.

Well, friends, I believe that is all right now. I am spending the day again with the kids at Hope for Children so I need to get going!

Čau!

Yesterday in Riga July 17, 2009

http://foto.delfi.lv/picture/720544/

I Have Written a Book.. actually just a long post. :) July 1, 2009

Believe it or not I have passed my half way point. Believe it or not this is my 6th week in Latvia. Me.. I can’t believe it. I has been a while since I have updated. Where to start?

Mostly I have been steadily but slowly working on these films. I will finish the first one (and by finish I mean getting footage.. I can’t edit until I get back to the States) tomorrow probably. For the most part I have given up on the storyboard and script… I just wasn’t getting anywhere on them and so it was a waste of time (hopefully my film professor doesn’t read this ).

And the films are going ok I think. I think the finished products won’t be too bad. It is low budget film making at its finest though. I use natural lighting as often as I can but for a couple of the interviews I have had to set up 3 or 4 desk lamps… and some of the shots still have creepy shadows. Oh well. We work with it, right?

Natasha came back on the 19th which was really exciting because I missed here dearly. That night, after Vesma and I picker her up from the airport, we all went back to the apartment and spent the evening together. These two ladies are so precious to me and when I am with them we all laugh a lot. It’s such a blessing, and I am so thankful for both of them.

So the next day I grabbed a bus for Limbazi. For those of you who don’t know, Limbazi is where I have spent a couple of my spring breaks and I know many of the kids there. I was planning on spending Jaņī there. Jaņī is a national holiday in Latvia. It is to celebrate the summer solstice and the longest day of the year.

Saturday afternoon I went to a friend’s graduation and it was really neat to see the differences between a Latvian graduation and a graduation in the States. Anyways, after graduation I walked around Limbazi with a friend for a little while. I guess I can say that my time in Limbazi was not what I expected. Many of the people that I was planning to see were too busy or I couldn’t get in touch with them. So I went back to the church where I was staying thinking that I would just get on the internet for a while and then go to bed.

That’s what I thought, anyways. I have told some of you that I think that part of the reason why God brought me to Latvia was to work on my heart, and I don’t know how to explain it but God has been pursuing me and chasing after my heart like crazy. But I have found that I have a difficult time spending time with him. I always find myself distracting myself so I don’t have to spend time with him. I can read my bible and talk to him, but I have a very difficult time listening to him. What am I listening for? How do you listen to an audibly silent god? It is difficult.

So I go back to the church planning on getting on the computer (not because I have anything to do but because I want to distract myself and pass the time). I plug the computer in and the cord pops and starts smoking. Yes, ladies and gentlemen.. I blew up my computer cord. Well, I think I can honestly say that God blew up my computer cord. He wanted to spend time with me and I kept running, so he has his ways of making it happen, doesn’t he? And I guess the God of the universe has that right, after all.

So, for the next couple of days I had no access to internet or the outside world at all. And since really no one was in Limbazi I had plenty of time to read and pray and really just be there. I think that one of the things God is teaching me while I’m here is how to just BE somewhere… to be where he puts me and to be ok with it. It has been a difficult lesson to learn.

On Monday morning I decided to go back to Riga and ended up going to the Sandberg’s to celebrate Jaņī on Tuesday. We had a really good time talking, playing games, eating delicious food, and roasting marshmallows. I’m really glad that I went.

Last Friday I went with Helen (and Harry Hudson, for those of you who have been to Limbazi) to the center in Skrunda. It is about an hour drive and it’s the same center that we went to Lithuania with. We filmed a couple of interviews while we were there and then just hung out with the kids. Harry and I taught some kids how to play ping pong and then we all walked down to the river where the kids went for a swim (it’s still a bit too cold for me).

Saturday night I went with Helen to visit the other Helen (both of whom are British ladies and they work for Hope for Children). We filmed an interview, they cooked dinner, and then we played cards. I taught them one of my favorite games, Nertz, and we laughed a lot. It was a good night. On the bus ride home Helen told me some stories about the years past with Hope for Children. It was really good to hear how God has worked through them.

This past Sunday Tanya (from the first or second post, remember?) introduced me to a couple of her former students and we spent the day together. We went to the art museum, walked around Riga, and just got to know one another a bit.

Yesterday I went to the beach with the kids from the Bolderaja center. It was about an hour walk to the Baltic and we had a lot of fun. It was good to get to talk to some of the ladies who work there. We have become quite good friends and I hadn’t seen them in a while.

Natasha and I have been having some really good talks. God is working on both of us and is using our relationship to cause a lot of growth in my life.

So that’s about all for now. That’s what has been going on here in Latvia. I will post later on more about what I’ve been thinking about, etc. after I process stuff more!

Thanks for reading and leave comments!

Change is Coming! June 27, 2009

Hi friends. I want to thank you all for your prayers and support, for your letters and emails.. they have been so encouraging. I also wanted to let you know that I will give you a real update very soon. For now, please know that God is working here. He is working in Latvia and in Riga. He is working in my own heart so much.

Please continue praying and keep checking back!

Cobblestone.. I love cobblestone

At Agnese's Gradutaion!

The Thing About Missions June 14, 2009

I have had a lot of down time lately. Trying to storyboard.. not really getting anywhere. It’s hard to storyboard without a script. Trying to write a script.. not really getting anywhere. So I do something creative like take pictures or paint a picture to try to give myself ideas. It hasn’t proven itself too successful yet, but I’ll keep working. In the meantime I’ve had a lot of time to think. It’s been one of those weeks that God keeps reminding me, “you need to deal with this.” Those are hard weeks. Good-for-me weeks, but hard weeks.

I think that I came here thinking that in these ten weeks that I’m here I was going to save Latvia. And God keeps showing me how that isn’t the case.. he never intended that to be the case.

Lauren called me on Friday night with news that her aunt had passed away. She came to Riga that afternoon and we spent the remaining time just trying to enjoy the time she had left in Latvia, because she flew out the next morning and she won’t be able to return. Natasha, my roommate for the summer, left the next day for school in Austria for two weeks, so I am living by myself until the 19th. It’s funny how distractions become so apparent when you are by yourself. So this week has been a lot about avoiding those distractions and giving into the quiet time.. I’m pretty bad at this. I like distractions.

Tuesday night was a really difficult night. I finally broke down and just cried out to God. “What am I doing here? Why did you bring me here? I don’t feel like I’m helping anybody. I just want to go home!”

So I prayed. And I was super honest. The only thing I could think about was the big story of the Bible and of life.. how God is telling some really big, complex story and how I’m a part of it.. a really small part. But I love making myself the center of everything. I like thinking about going to Latvia and changing the lives of everyone I come in contact with. But that’s not really what God is using me for. We have this big romantic idea about what missions is. We read the books and hear the stories but none of it gives us a good picture of what missions is about.

The truth is that missions is just living life somewhere. And it’s not glamorous at all. Sometimes it’s exciting, but most of the time it isn’t. A lot of the time it’s just everyday stuff.. it gets boring and mundane, and it’s hard. It looks like raising your kids in a different country and having them struggle about not knowing where there home is. It looks like living in a culture that is strange and foreign and may never make complete sense to you. Sometimes it looks like someone leading hundreds of people to the Lord. Most of the time it doesn’t. Sometimes it looks like someone sitting in a flat writing a script for a film so an organization can earn a little bit of money to keep doing what they are doing. All of the time it is about God working through broken, flawed people.. doing something big with the little things they can offer.

I have to keep reminding myself that what I am doing here is a small part of what God is doing. It’s small, but it’s important, and it can be significant if I submit to that truth… even when it doesn’t feel significant.

I am not going to change Latvia. In fact, I may never even see the good that comes from the films that I am making, but God is changing Latvia… and I get to be a part of that. It’s a really small part, but it’s a part.

*Click here to see more pictures!*

Some More Pictures June 11, 2009

I promise I will update soon but for now enjoy my pictures.

The sunsets here are incredible.

Yellow leaves.. they must be from America.

These are what we call train tracks.

New Hair June 9, 2009

Praise God for Continuing to Provide June 8, 2009

Just wanted to share that God is continuing to provide the money for me to be here this summer. I now have $2111 toward my trip, which is over the half way point! Praise God and thank you for all who have contributed!

A Night at the Opera House June 3, 2009

I think that I am starting to settle into life here; getting more comfortable with public transportation and walking around Riga, doing my laundry, cooking my own food.. you know, just everyday things. But then again this week hasn’t exactly been an everyday-things-kind-of-week. It’s been a pretty eventful week and yesterday was no different.

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http://picasaweb.google.com/robertson.becca

Yesterday afternoon I met with Victor and Natasha from the Riga International Bible Institute about the film that I will be making. Truth be told, I feel pretty inadequate trying to make promotional films for professional organizations because I’m not a professional filmmaker, or actually anything close to a professional filmmaker. How do I get myself into these situations?

After the meeting I went to a cafe close by that has become a favorite spot of reflection for me. I am beginning to form a small relationship with one of the ladies who works there and is pretty amused at my attempts to order food in Latvian even though she understands English. Yesterday I told her (in Latvian) that I only speak a little Latvian and she smiled and said that I was doing very well. I got a smile out of her… that makes me happy.

Mark and Vesma had an extra ticket to the opera last night and they invited me so I came back and put

a painting I did..

the one dress that I have with me on (because my good friend, Matt Benson, only let us pack on carry-on for the whole summer ) and headed for the Opera House. Now, I already stick out in Latvia because I am American through and through and people know I am American. People here can look at someone and tell you where they are from.. it’s crazy. Everyone can spot an American from a mile away.. even when I am trying my hardest to not be a tourist, so if it isn’t enough to stick out already when I am in normal clothes, I decided to pack the brightest yellow dress I could find in my closet. Why? Because I wasn’t thinking, “If I wear this in Latvia I am going to stick out like a sore thumb and people are going to stare at me.” But let me tell you.. either people thought my dress was breathtakingly beautiful (which I assure you was not the case) or they were asking themselves, “Why on earth is she wearing that thing in public?” I think it was the latter. Needless to say, I was stared throughout my entire journey to the Opera House. It is true that I like being the center of attention and love to make people laugh.. however, I don’t think this was quite the same.

The Opera was beautiful. It was in Latvian, it is true, and it is also true that I don’t speak Latvian, but lucky for me that it was the story of Joseph so I followed along pretty well. There was a 6 year old girl that sat in front of me, and at first I thought she was really cute. She stared at me, so I smiled at her, expecting a smile back.. but I think I just made her angry because she glared at me the whole stinkin’ time! I don’t know what I did, but she was not happy with me. When we walked out of the Opera we were interviewed by Latvian Radio. They asked me what I thought and I said, “I couldn’t really concentrate on the Opera because there was a 6 year old demon child stealing my soul the whole time.”

Just kidding. I didn’t say that. But that did really happen.

After catching up on some emails and updating this for all of you fine people I need to make myself some lunch and start writing scripts and storyboarding for the film. ick. I am not a fan.

Have a splendid day and please forgive my overly sarcastic tone in this post.. I’ll try to tone it down for next time. Just one of those days.